20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Share..To Make Them Smile.

12 major firsts in every woman’s life

1. Losing your virginity, of course. But even bigger: your first orgasm with someone else in the bed.
2. The first time you get on a plane because someone far away needs you.
3. The first time you realize that you don’t have to plead, make a scene or even have a good reason—you can just say no.
4. The day you find and use your personal Tear Suppression Device at work.
5. The first time you step on the scale and think: fine.
6. The first time you scare the bejeezus out of yourself (Everest, anyone?) and love it.
7. Your first public-speaking triumph. (Yes, it will happen someday!)
8. The first time you take your sweetheart home to meet your parents…
9. …and have silent sex in your old room.
10. Crossing the finish line of your first marathon—the running kind, the work kind or the emotional kind.
11. The first time you turn on your heel and walk away from a bad-for-you thing.
12. The first time you realize there’s someone you would walk into a burning building to save.

true dream is

Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare.

We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all.

But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds... feeling hopeful.

And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life- the true dream is being able to dream at all.

the great escape ;)

It would be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing. But for this night, none of us were going anywhere. That's the thing about really good friends and a really great Manhattan.

love, actually

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around"